My Final Entry

Family and Friends:

Fifteen months ago, Monica and I decided to (electronically) open our home to you and allow you to participate in Monica’s personal battle against breast cancer. What you ended up witnessing was the final three months of my loving wife’s life and the grief-filled 365 days that followed. Today, exactly one year after Monica’s passing, I have decided to put the finishing touches on our story. Yes, today, (with the possible exception of typos and/or omissions), this entry will be my last.

For the past few days I have thought long and hard about what I would give to you this final entry. I decided that instead of sharing one last Cooper Boy™ story, I have opted to take this opportunity to acknowledge all of the folks who have been instrumental in ensuring us a soft landing into “life without Monica.” Know that without this vast network of support and compassion, we Cooper Boys™ would be far worse for the wear. You have each made a difference in our lives and for that, we are forever indebted to you.

Each of people mentioned on this page made a unique and personal impact on our lives - not only the past 15 months, but in the many years of our lives leading up to this day. You have shared in our grief and you have given us unconditional comfort when we needed it most. For those of you who see your name and say to yourself “I didn’t do anything,” you need to look no further than the entries in this journal to rethink that view.

Today is June 26, 2008. One year ago today, Monica left our earthly presence after giving all of her self to us to stay in the game of life. She endured unmentionable suffering to create a foundation of love for our family to build upon long after her death. She made sure that she lived long enough to see we Cooper Boys™ develop the skills necessary to continue on where she would no longer. She left us a legacy of not only strength, but that of determination to live a happy life and that of undying love. Perhaps most reassuring, she left us with the confidence that we will all be together again...some day.

If any of you take anything away from this saga, know that Monica’s biggest heartbreak was the idea of leaving us behind. More than once, she uttered the words “the hardest part of this is leaving you.” Those eight words summed up who Monica was. She was the definition of love and compassion. She loved us all so much that nothing else mattered. She would have endured so much more suffering to simply be with us. Monica's victory over her disease was our life lesson. Sadly, the human body can only take so much suffering. While she left us physically, she remains with us on so many levels. She didn't lose the battle, she gained a place in life where she will never be forgotten. I have to believe that while she hated leaving us behind, she left us confident that her mission on earth was complete. The smile on her face merely moments after her passing solidified that simple truth.

Family and friends, know that she loved you all unconditionally. Go forward knowing that she is at peace and that we each have a mission of our own to complete. Go forward and continue with your lives. But please, no matter where your paths take you, never, ever forget.

I will close this journal by saying thank you all for participating in her life. Thank you all for giving so much of yourselves to us.

May God give you peace in the coming days of your life.

The Cooper Family (mom, dad, Liane, Kristin) and Flippin family (Oma, Les, Mike, Lisa) – Without your unconditional love and support our family would have collapsed from the sheer weight of her loss.

Our Extended Family: Aunt Helga, Cousin Margit, - your bond to this family will never be broken regardless of geographic limits (Margit – kick da sh!t), and all of the New England Cooper Clan.

Sage (Life with Cancer) – Sage reminded us how to live, to love, to forgive and to cherish each other, evening in passing. Most importantly, Sage taught us all the meaning of grace. You have a place in our life forever, you are our Terrestrial Angel.

Long-time Family Friends: Michelle, Rick, Hannah, Kaaren, Vicki, Greg, Lori, Stewart, Ashley and Brandon – What you guys did for her at the end will never be forgotten. She loved you all so much. Ray and Nancy, Charlie, Dilly, Molly (Molly - kick da sh!t!)

Life-long Friends: Jim and Patrice, Nikki, Bob and Cathy (Cathy – kick da sh!t!), Shelly and Fred, Bob and Jackie (Jackie – kick da sh!t!)

New Friends: The Mowery Family – Bev, Mellie, and Jeff. The love and acceptance that you have shown to our family is a testament to the lessons learned from a common tragic - yet blessed - past. Mark rocked. Your foundation is solid too. Onward and upward. Maryann (kick da sh!t!) and Jim. You had a very key role in this incredible family dynamic.

The Blue Knob Crew: Randy and Debbie and the rest of the Carestia clan. You welcomed us with open arms. God bless you for opening your hearts to me and my boys for what I know is a very hard task for you all.

Our Cross Creek Family: The Palmucci family, the Pilato family, the Posey family, the Stacey family, the Rizzo family, the Lucidi family, the Lawson family. Cross Creek kids rule!

Our Floris United Methodist Church Family: Tom and Karen Berlin and Monica’s WoW Ladies. Monica loved you all. You enriched Monica’s life with the faith that He welcomed her home.

Our Work friends: Vicki, Tania, et al (EDS), Margaret, Tim, Mike (NGC), Peyton and Lisa, Teresa and Mike (Delphi Tech) – your gifts of time kept me going when you didn’t have to do it.

Our Avon Walk for Breast Cancer Family: Seth (Cowguy) and the Moo Crew, Judy, Meagan, Mike (kick da sh!t Mike!), Barbara Jo, Dr. Bob, Mike E., Jeane, The Moto Crew, all of my DC and Charlotte walker family.

Our Reston Raider Family: simply too many to name (you know who you are!), The Fairfax Maple Leafs and Team Washington.

The JD Lash Foundation: Gillian, and the rest of the Lash Foundation members. JD was my brother. He taught me so much about being a part of every kid he taught. His spirit lives in me.

Monica’s Doctors: Dr. Wilkinson, Dr. Mills – You ladies rule!, God Bless your both AND your incredible nursing staffs! Now I know why you do what you do.

And finally to all of those people who I have never met who continue to send me emails and cards. The grace that you have given will be returned in kind.

God Bless you all and thank you.

Shameless Plug

For those of you who still wish to continue to participate in my effort to keep Monica’s memory alive, I invite you all to visit my latest web site. That site is http://www.dc-mohawkman.com.

As I mentioned in my June 3 entry, this site will become my hub for all of the things that I am doing to not only keep Monica's legacy alive but where I will be continuing my personal battle to fight this bastard demon the best way that I know how.

Two things to note:

1) I hope to have Monica's Foundation in place before the end of the summer. This foundation will be most personal to me. If you wish to hold off until then, I am 100% on board.

2) If you wish to help today, I am still short for my Charlotte '08 Walk. Please consider a small donation to push me over the edge.

Thank you all again...