For the past three months, we Cooper Boys have continued to grieve in our own personal ways, yet we are also moving – to steal a term from a dear friend - onward and upward. It’s been a rough road at times, but the good news is that we’ve found ways – both new and old - to keep our family moving in a positive direction. Don’t get me wrong, not a day goes by that I don’t think about Monica in some way, shape or form. However, the healing that is taking place has been wondrous. As a collective unit, we Cooper Boys have been successful in moving on by resuming most of the activities that we so loved before and embarking on new and exciting life experiences to fill the void left by Monica’s loss.

The Boys find out what Spring Break is like in Ottawa Canada.
Not quite Florida, that's for sure!

The months of April and May were extremely challenging to us as (in order) we had to address the following key dates and events: April 30 Monica’s 43rd birthday, May 3-4 The Washington DC Avon 2-Day Walk for Breast Cancer, May 13 – Mother’s Day, May 18 my mom and dad’s 51st wedding anniversary, and May 28 – Joey’s 15th birthday.

It’s been a very difficult and emotional stretch of time that's for sure. However, on each of these special days, we have found very personal and spiritual ways to celebrate Monica’s life as opposed to simply grieving her loss.

Things are definitely different without Monica, but her absence hasn’t kept us from getting back into the game of life. She is missed dearly, but we don’t sit back and wait for her to come walking through our front door. It’s just not going to happen. Life is moving forward and life is good.

As I touched on above, something has changed inside of me. I feel that I am transitioning from grieving her death every day to finding new and exciting ways to celebrate her life.

My 2008 Washington DC Avon 2-Day Walk Buddies
(l-r) Me, Cowguy (Seth Jason), GG Hall, Mike Base and Meagan Betts

So getting back to my lack of desire to write, I’m finding it harder and harder to keep this site “current.” I find it emotionally challenging to essentially force myself back into a mode of grief when all I want to do is continue to open the doors that are opening in front of us. Sometimes I feel that in order to be a good writer, I have to sink the level that I feel is most beneficial to write, and dang it, I’m tired of putting myself in that position! I won’t say that I resent it, but it’s just harder for me to “feel” the urge to write at the level in which all of my previous posts were conceived.

I suppose (please excuse the pun) the writing was on the wall just a few months ago. I look back to my January and February posts and I think about how the tone of the site has evolved from me letting you all witness the intimate life details of Monica as she traveled her final road to introducing you to life post-Monica and how we Cooper Boys are slowly adapting to the loss of the cornerstone of our family. That’s all fine and good, but I never intended this site to become “The Life and Times of the Cooper Boys.” But is has in a way. Yes, people will always wish to see how we are coping, but in a sense, I feel that the site has lost its focus as a source of empowerment from a caregiver's perspective. As such, I feel that the time has bring this journal site to a close.

That said, I will post my final entry to this site on or about June 26 (Monica’s one year mark). I believe that it’s time for me to put the final touches on the site and let it be the source of spiritual and intellectual inspiration that it was intended to be. I will continue to host this site for as long as I own the Pink Ribbon Life Systems domain.

Faithful readers, it’s time for closure...at least here.

For those of you who still wish to continue to participate in my effort to keep Monica’s memory alive, I invite you all to visit my latest web site. That site is http://www.dc-mohawkman.com.

This new site is fast becoming the information hub for documenting all of the cool things that I will be doing to keep Monica’s memory alive. That site will be more appropriate for telling you all about the good things that I am doing to keep Monica’s legacy (and memory) alive.

The primary focus of this new site will be to introduce you (and hopefully suck you all in) to my continuing efforts to focus attention of Breast Cancer advocacy through my alter ego, Mohawkman.

Some of you are probably scratching your head about the URL name. The name Mohawkman originated on the 2004 Washington DC Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk Against Breast Cancer. I explain in detail the origin of that name on the site.

Here’s a sneak preview of some more content. There you will find a pictorial history of all of my (and Monica’s) Avon and Susan G. Komen events, information about Monica Cooper’s Pennies from Heaven Project, and most importantly Monica’s Children of Cancer Foundation (which I am still in the process of setting up).

In keeping with my promise to keep things here in context, I encourage you all to go to that site to see what I’m up to.

Check it out. I still have a lot of work to do on it, but it’s getting there.

I will close this update with one request. In less than three weeks I will be marking the one-year anniversary of the passing of the love of my life. On June 26, at 9:51PM, light a candle and say a prayer asking God to keep the spirit of Monica among the angels. It is my hope that she will see the hundreds of candles and know that her spirit burns bright here on earth. God bless you all and may you all find peace in your life this day.

Pennies from Heaven Update

I continue to recieve a steady flow of PfH letters. I am moved by each one. Please, keep them coming.

To read excerpts from some of the many letters I have received (click here).

As for my personal PfH account, I have now found $8.26 in pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, and dollar bills. Some days are better than other, but the stream of coins continues.

The most chilling find was actually a quarter found by Joey right before he took one of his SOL exams. He called me at work at the end of his day to tell me the news.

What was so chilling?

"Dad, guess the date..." sez he.

"1965. Her birthyear." (gulp)

I am still accepting your pennies (especially your notes of good will and grace). You can still send your pennies and notes to:

PFH (Pennies from Heaven)
c/o Monica Cooper
3009 Cross Creek Ct.
Oak Hill, VA 20171