According to reliable church estimates, over 400 people attended the event.

The Cooper boys wish to extend our most sincere thanks to everyone who attended Monica's special service. I cannot express in words what it meant to Joey, Jamie and I. I will never, ever forget your faces.

If you still wish to express your desire to do something special in Monica's honor please consider one of these three options:

I will continue to accept monetary gifts earmarked for Joey and Jamie's college education. I will accept bank or personal checks. Make them out to Dale Cooper FBO Joey and Jamie's college education. Email me for our home address.

We are also suggesting monetary donations in Monica's name to INOVA Life with Cancer.

Donate to INOVA Life with Cancer online here.

OR:

To make a contribution by mail, please send a check or money order to:

Pam Maroulis, Director of Development
Life with Cancer
2832 Juniper Street, Suite 203
Fairfax , Virginia 22031

Feel free to donate to any other worthy charity or organization. If you do, please do it Monica's name! We also are regular supporters of the American Cancer Society, the Susan G. Komen Foundation and the Avon Foundation.

Thanks!

Monica's editor-written obituary notice appeared in the July 8 edition of the Sunday Post. FYI, there were three major errors in her obit. First, she battled the disease for over six and a half years, not for only six months. Second, we didn't move all around northern Virginia, we moved several times within the Franklin Farm community. And last, Monica's biggest day as a Job's Daughter was in 1982, not 1992. Needless to say, the Post will not see business from me inthe near future!

The month of July has simply been a blur to me. Ever since Monica passed, I've been running on adrenaline. Her passing is still so surreal to me. Even Joey and Jamie tell me that it seems only as though Monica is on a short trip and she'll be home soon.

I suppose that we are like so many other families who have sadly lost a loved one. We each expect Monica to walk through the front door at any moment and give us all a hug and a kiss just like she used to do every day when she was with us.

As they say, time will heal the wounds. That may be so, but the scars will always be a reminder to what once was.

It will never be the same. The love of my life is gone forever. Yes, she will always be here in spirit, but it's just not the same.

It is going to take a long, long time for me to say goodbye.

In a few moments, I will heading off with Joey and Jamie to Monica's Celebration of Life. It will be a wonderful day, I can just feel it. I know that our community will be together at last to celebrate the life of my angel.

It's been a long wait. Too long in fact. I am exhausted already. Now I know why people chose to have their events closer to the day of death. The wait for me has been exhausting. I enjoyed the time to prepare, but I am emotionally spent.

Folks, I've given a lot of thought to what I am going to do in the days to come. I have decided that I will probably take a break from writing in the next few days as I feel an emotional freight train bearing down on me. Don't be surprised if you don't see an update to the site for a few days. Please be patient. I will give you all an indication about where I wish to take this web site as the days pass.

In the meantime, thank you all for following our story. I sincerely hope that at least one person benefited from it.

I will be back. My mission isn't over yet. Oh, yeah...one more thing. I miss her so much.

Godspeed to you all.

Friday July 13

Today is the eve of Monica’s Celebration of Life. As I sit here at the keyboard I can feel the myriad of emotions that have consumed me for the past few weeks coming to a head. In a way, I am looking forward to this weekend being over. For the Cooper boys, it will be closure…of sorts. It’s been a very, very long month for us. There will be many tears shed this weekend, but there will also be the smiles of happiness.

As I was driving to work today, I thought about all that has happened to us in the past few weeks. Certainly Monica’s passing has been the center of our world. I was thinking more about the outpouring of support that our family has received before, during and after her passing. In the weeks prior to Monica’s death, my email box was constantly filled with new messages mostly words of encouragement and support. In the days leading up to her death, the volume of email peaked. And on the day after she passed, all I received was Spam mail. The silence was deafening.

Yes, I remember posting on this site a request to respect our privacy for the following few days, but looking back I feel that that request wasn’t necessary. All of you out there in our website community were suddenly without words to say. In the days that followed, the emails started to trickle in. I thought to myself, “Does Hallmark write email message, too?!?!” I can safely say that the vast majority of the messages that I received all started out with words similar to: “There are no words that I can say that express my/our sympathy…”

I thought to myself, “For being speechless, the words that you did manage to put down were probably the most healing words that I ever could have received.”

You people don’t know the power of your own compassion. My family is simply awestruck by the outpouring of love and support. What you may think is meaningless babble has been the most inspiring words imaginable. We are all human. There are times when we simply can’t come up with the words that we wish to say. Folks, think about what this web page has been to you. Here’s a news flash: I was never entirely comfortable with any of the entries that I made over the course of the past three months. Why? Because, no words could ever convey the pain that was in my heart. I just did the best that I could.

Realize that the written word can never be a complete summation of our human emotions. For every written work in existence today, each could have been better. We all do what we can in the time that have and in the moment that an idea flashes through our minds. It is, however, what comes spontaneously that makes our expressions genuine.

And just what is better than being genuine?

See you all tomorrow in thought, in spirit or in person. God bless you all and may all of you who are traveling be safe.

One final request. If you come tomorrow, don't say that you're sorry. Say "Monica rocked" and give me a hug of peace. Deal?

Thursday July 12

The final planning for Monica’s Celebration of Life is now complete. I met with Pat at the church tonight to get everything wrapped up in terms of decorations, seating arrangements for the family, our close family friends and the speakers and their families. The church sure looked big last night. By Saturday afternoon at 12:05PM I’m sure that it’s going to look very, very small.

As of today, I can tell you without a doubt that if you don’t get to the church early, you’re gonna be sitting in the parking lot. Our list of folks coming to the CoL include: 15-20 family members, 20-30 close family friends, Monica’s WoW crew, a good representation of the Reston Raiders Hockey Club, work folks, play folks, neighbors, Avon walkers, and the loudest and proudest group of folks - a smattering of the Avon Moto crew (these are the folks who did safety for the DC Avon Walk back in May). As for the Moto crew, I have asked them to come up the driveway together with their bikes a rumblin’. It will rock the house!

Monica wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Wednesday July 11

Today was actually pretty quiet day for the Cooper boys. After work, I took the opportunity to catch up on all of the housework that has been put off for so long. It’s due. I need to have the place look somewhat respectable for the crowd on Saturday. Now, if I could only get my savage K9s from shedding so damn much, my life would be so much better. You can’t imagine (unless you have them) how much dog hair two 100 pound dogs can put down…in just ONE day!

Things are moving forward on getting the proper people notified of Monica’s passing. Thankfully, all of our preparation work has made that process much, much easier. The only battle that I am having right now is with Social Security. Can the US government be any more beaurocratic?!?! Oi! “You need to present this, this, this, that, this…” Good, God, man. And you get that after spending 15 minutes on hold.

Over the past few days I’ve learned that the SSA is as bad as the IRS. For every person you talk to, you get a different answer. I not-so-fondly remember Monica talking with them to get her disability stuff in order. Ah, I suppose that that’s the joy of having some sort of permanent disability before you turn 60.

Tuesday July 10

The wheels are really starting to churn for Monica’s Celebration of Life this coming Saturday. The family spray has been ordered. I delivered what will be a special video production for the service. And the neighbors who have volunteered to set up my backyard with tables, chairs and a tent covering (just in case of showers) have been busy getting all of that fun stuff in place. I am confident that on the eve of her special day all of our ducks will be in line and it will finally be time to come together as a community to let the healing process begin.

The Cooper boys have been doing pretty well, all things considered. I am back at work doing my part to save the world from the ever-present terrorist threat. My kids are spending their days with friends doing their best to make their world a better place. Life is good. We miss Monica dearly, but we also relish the thought that she is still with us in our hearts.

Monday July 9

It was actually good to get back to work today. I will be starting my first full week back at work in months. It's really been OK. The folks at my work have been absolutely awesome in their support of me and my family. I am fortunate to be associated with such an incredible group of folks.

I am going to take the time here to thank all of my co-workers at my Northrop Grumman office. As a consultant, they could have turned me out to the streets a long time ago, but they gave the time that I needed to be with my wife without condition or expectation. I will forever be indebted to them for their kindness and support. NGC, you kick ass!

You know, people have come up to me nearly every day and have asked me if I needed anything. My response has always been, "You're already doing it." They look at me kind of perplexed, but then I explain to them that just in allowing me to continue my work is the best thing that I could ever have asked for.

Sunday July 8

Today we said goodbye to Monica's brother and cousins. It was a bittersweet moment as we said our farewells. While it was good to see Mike and Margit again, it sucked for the reason that we all needed to come together this weekend. As for Mark, it was our first meeting. I hope to see him again, perhaps on a trip to the left coast sometime in the future.

We also said goodbye to Monica's aunt Helga, who traveled all the way from Austria (via Washington state) to help Oma care for Monica during the past three weeks. It was escpecially hard for Helga to say goodbye as she and I reflected on the moments together when Monica was slipping deeper and deeper towards death. We will share those moments over and over again in the near future. But for now she is off to Austria to be with her brother, who is also suffering from his own type of cancer.

A new life journey awaits her. I don't bother asking why any more. She learned some valuable lessons while she was here. Hopefully, they will help her in the next chapter of her life.

Saturday July 7

At 11:00AM this morning, we held a family-only Celebration of Life for Monica at Oma's home. Pastor Tom B. of Floris United Methodist Church presided over a very emotional yet celebratory meeting of both extended families.

After Tom read a few passages of scripture, many of us shared brief stories about Monica's life. There were a many tears and there were many laughs. It was an incredible experience that we will never forget.

The most moving moments of the event were when Joey and Jamie spoke of their mom. Jamie spoke about a time when Monica asked a group of our neighborhood kids if they wanted to go bowling to pass some summer time. After a fair bit of boredom-driven grumbling, Monica was able to herd the kids into the car. At the conclusion of the bowling adventure, he said that many of the kids reflected to themselves just how fun that trip was. His story echoed the knack that Monica had for creating something fun out of an empty day.

Joey then told a heartwarming story about the lengths that Monica would go to create a special moment for the kids. He told us of a time when Monica had volunteered to help at the school. Right before Joey set off to school he found Monica in the bathroom throwing up from the effects of her latest round of chemo. She told him that she would do her best to fulfill her promise. Instead of staying at home to take care of herself, she gathered herself up as well as she could, drove herself to school and led the art project that she had promised to do for his class. Joey then reminded us all that after her volunteer session was complete she left the building to return home...only to throw up again as she reached the car.

That single story had the entire room in tears. It was the essence of Monica's existance on this earth. That is what she would have done for anyone.

We ended our gathering with a family lunch at the local Macaroni Grill.

Friday July 6

The end of the week has brought visitors from out of town. Visiting for the weekend are Mike, Monica's brother from Arizona, and Margit B. and Mark M., Monica's cousins from Washington state.

The Cooper boys spent a wonderful evening at Monica's mom's house catching up and chit-chatting about our hero. It was a wonderful experience for everyone in attendance.

Thursday July 5

I have the pleasure to announce to the world that Monica is home at last. Joey and I picked her cremains up from the funeral home for her final resting place at our home. It is what she wanted.

On a surreal note, our exit from the funeral home was met with a light drizzle. I told Joey, "Look Joey, God is crying for us." He just smiled as he cradled Monica's urn.

I remembered a conversation that Monica and I had had a couple of years ago when things were pointing to her eventual passing. We talked to each other about where she wanted to be placed. Her only response was "at home." I remember asking her if she wanted me to spread her ashes on Skyline Drive where we spent a good deal of time BK (before kids). I also asked her if she wanted me to spread her ashes on the beaches of the Outer Banks where we had spent so many of her final summer vacations. Surprising to me, to each she responded no. She told me that she didn't want to be abandoned and alone.

Her final wish was to be close to us. Her wish has now been honored. Tonight she rests on the mantle of our fireplace surrounded by some of her favorite Willow Tree figurines. It's good to have her home.

Wednesday July 4

Today, we as a nation celebrate the birth of our country. As we should. The Cooper boys will be joining the ranks of our awesome neighborhood to remember all who have fallen in the name of freedom. As we all know, freedom is not free.

The lessons that we have learned as a nation closely mimic that of what Monica did for her personal freedom. Today, Monica lives in our hearts as a angel. She will be part of our psyche forever. She is free. But we all need to remember the price that she paid for that freedom.

Monica endured six and a half years of physical, mental and emotional anguish to earn her freedom. She shed more blood that most of us will ever shed. She cried more tears than any person should ever have to cry. She suffered the humiliation of body mutilation. And she lived every day of those final six and a half years making certain that the legacy that she left behind would be what would lead the next generation.

My wife really was a hero. She made us all love life. She made us all accept others regardless of the many differences that make us all unique. She opened her home to anyone at any time. She led by example.

I can only hope that we take what we know from Monica and apply to our own lives. We will all be richer human beings for it.

Embrace life. Hug your kids. Tell them how much you love them.

Life is good, and we are all at peace.

Personal update:

Monica will be coming home tomorrow. Her cremains are ready and she will find her final resting place where she wanted, amongst the family. Next Tuesday we have another date with the "Deadliest Catch." I know she's pumped!

Today, I signed up for the Charlotte, NC Avon Foundation Breast Cancer Walk. It is going to take place on the weekend of October 20-21. Once again, I have to raise the $1800 required to participate. I am only going to ask once and then go away. Please consider a small donation to my fundraising efforts. I hate this part, but it is in place for a reason. Monica personally benefited from the generousity of you all. She loved far longer than she "should" have. The money raised by the Avon will continue to assist others like Monica. If you wish to donate, please go to my Avon site here.

Thank you all.